


All That's Dead And Gone

by Gay_Jesus_Probably



Series: Sun Goes Down [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AU where Roxas remembers being Sora, Axel has issues, Death Threats, First Kiss, Let's just say everyone's got issues and call it a day, M/M, Riku has issues, Roxas has issues, Roxas is believing the wrong people here and thats going to be a Problem, because i dont remember and neither does google, do they ever actually adequately explain why Riku has the fucking blindfold, there's a really intense mindfuck implied to be going down in the background, this isnt even the saddest au ive ever done tbh, yeah those tags make sense beside each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 03:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11546874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_Jesus_Probably/pseuds/Gay_Jesus_Probably
Summary: The first confrontation between Riku and Roxas, in an AU where Roxas always remembers having been Sora. More detail in the notes.The AU in question is currently being worked on developing into a full story covering all of Days, so hold on kids cause there is more like this on the way.





	All That's Dead And Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so my theory about Roxas is that in canon, Ven got tangled up with Sora during the Nobody process, leading to a Nobody that technically had two Others, and was somewhere in between them. So, no memories because mindfuck, two keyblades, and looking like Ventus did when he was Sora's age (cause BBS was like a decade before KH so Ven's a grown ass adult by now). In this AU, for whatever reason Roxas is almost completely Sora's, and as a result is identical to him, and completely remembers being Sora. A typical Nobody, basically.  
> So because of this, Xemnas needs to put some real work into having a keybearer under his thumb, because he talked Roxas in with 'we need your help and it'll help you too we're neutral not evil', but knows damn well that the second Roxas figures out the morally questionably details, he's out of there. So instead Xemnas decides that since his keybearer didn't come with identity issues and low self esteem baked in, he's going to do it himself. So, by this story (somewhere in the high 100's for the day), Roxas has been on the receiving end of a mindfuck for a long time.  
> And yes in the main story the moral implications of psychologically destroying a teenager get brought up. Repeatedly.  
> Also Xion is not here, and that is another thing that gets explained in the main story. It's a butterfly effect thing. And yes this is waay too early for Riku to confront Roxas, but he moved his timetable up because of Roxas looking identical to Sora, and having his memories. He's staked a lot of his emotional stability on Sora, and with Sora comatose, he's subconsciously going for the next best thing. Roxas never qualified in canon, because he was so blatantly Not Sora. Things are a lot more complicated here.

Roxas locked blades with the hooded imposter, Total Eclipse pushing against their sword. While his expression didn’t waver, he took a moment during the blade lock to mentally thank Kingdom Hearts that he hadn’t gone with his first choice of gear for the day, and chosen to equip Total Eclipse instead of Leviathan. Fuck, would have been a bad choice for the fight he’d found himself in the middle of.

With the imposter distracted by their struggle, Roxas lashed out with his foot, kicking the imposter firmly in the stomach, causing them to stagger back with a wheeze, the breath having been knocked out of them.

Their sword clattered to the cobblestones as they dropped to their knees, arms wrapping around their stomach in clear pain. Roxas could understand that. It had been a strong kick, likely made worse by his heavy duty uniform boots. If he’d aimed it higher, chances were good the imposter would be nursing cracked or broken ribs right now.

“Start talking. Who are you, and where did you get that coat?” Roxas demanded, kicking their sword away, and holding the tip of his keyblade up to their throat. Hopefully the cold expression on his face would be enough to convince the imposter that yes, he was willing to kill them, because he was not. Heart or not heart, there were lines that even he was firmly refusing to cross, and murder was one of them.

The imposter made a pained noise, one of sorrow and… grief?

And then they flipped their hood back, and Roxas inhaled sharply, stepping back automatically in surprise, keyblade falling to his side.

“Sora, what happened to you?” Riku asked, face stricken.

“…Why are you wearing a blindfold?” Roxas blurted out automatically.

“It’s… hard to explain. It helps ground me against the darkness. If I don’t have to see myself, it… it’s easier to fight it.”

“So… you run around blindfolded out of angst. That’s stupid. How much do you trip over things?”

“…More than I’d like to admit, but that’s not the point right now. Sora, what are you doing with the Organization? They’re trouble. I don’t know what they’ve told you, but they’re lying to you.”

Roxas snorted a bit.

“My name’s Roxas. And that pretty much answers your question. I’m not Sora anymore. I just… don’t have the heart for it. That’s all the Organization is doing, Riku. We just want to be people again.”

“They’re using you, Sora! Don’t you understand, this is serious! The keyblade is supposed to be a weapon of light, and you’re serving the darkness-“

“I understand this perfectly, Riku. Definitely more than you do. Do you realize how much this hurts? Just, on a daily basis? I can feel where my heart was, Riku. I can feel how fucking _empty_ I am, and I’m getting up every day and ignoring it because the Organization – because _Xemnas_ – has given me a chance to make it stop. Besides, I’m not serving darkness, or whatever. We’re made of nothing. We’re inherently neutral. Light and darkness both just sort of… slide right off us. And, while we’re on the subject, I’d just like to mention the detail of what fucking right do _you_ have to lecture me on the dangers of darkness!? You’re the reason this even happened to me! I’d hate you if I had the physical capacity to, except, oh wait, _I don’t. Thanks to you._ ” Roxas snarled out, keyblade rising again.

“Sora…”

“Don’t. Just don’t. What are you even doing here anyways? And seriously, why do you have that coat? You do know that we kill imposters, right?”

“I – I was looking for you. That’s why I have the coat. Dark corridors are the best way to get around, the coat’s just protection against that. And you do realise you just threatened to kill me, right? Sora, this isn’t you.”

“Sora died in Hollow Bastion. I’m doing this to bring him back.” Roxas said bluntly.

Riku froze completely. His mouth moved a few times, but no sound came out, the other teenager clearly struggling for words.

“What?” Roxas asked, the question coming out slightly more defensive than he would have liked.

“You. You don’t know. How do you not know? After you… y’know. Did what you did on Hollow Bastion, your heartless found Donald, Goofy and Kairi – you were just a Shadow, by the way, that’s not really important, but you were _adorable_ – and you refused to attack them. Just followed for a while. I wasn’t there, I was busy getting possessed, but Kairi did something to you. Princess of Heart and all. And she… she brought you back. Using your heartless. Sora was gone for about ten, fifteen minutes. And I know the Organization knows that, because that was the entire reason for Castle Oblivion, they lured Sora in and they tried to brainwash him. They want a keybearer under their control, and they’ll do _anything_ to get it.”

Roxas stared for a moment, before scowling.

“I don’t believe it.”

Riku let out a long, strangled cry of frustration.

“What the hell, I just spelled it out for you!”

“Alright, correction. I don’t believe _you_.”

“…What?”

“Last time I saw you, you were trying to kill me! You’re talking about darkness, like you weren’t literally throwing yourself in head first just to get strong enough to take me down! I don’t know what your game is with me, but I’m not playing it. …I’ll let you go. Just this once. For Sora’s sake. But I’ve got a responsibility to the Organization. If I see you again, I will take you down. First and only warning.”

And with that, Roxas dismissed his keyblade, and turned to leave, walking away. Behind him, there was a faint scuffing as Riku got back to his feet, but didn’t try to chase the Nobody.

“Wait! Sora! I- I’m sorry! For what I did, I am so sorry, and I will never be able to make up for what I did, but I want to. You – Sora – didn’t give up on me, and that brought me back. Let me return the favour. Let me save you.”

Roxas paused, and turned around at that, face determined.

“I don’t need to be saved from this. I don’t want to be saved. For your own good, don’t let me see you again.”

“I – I – I love you.” Riku blurted out, face turning red under the blindfold.

Roxas blinked in surprise at the unexpected confession, before approaching Riku again, expression unreadable.

“You actually mean that?”

“I… maybe? I’m not sure. All I know is, everything I’ve spent the last few months doing, it’s been for you. Destiny Island’s is back, y’know. I could go home. See my family. See Kairi. Be a teenager. But I’m not. I’m still out there, fighting every day, and giving everything I have to protect you. And well, if that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.”

Hesitantly, Roxas brushed a gloved hand against the older teenagers face, before leaning in, and pressing an experimental kiss to his mouth. Riku froze in surprise, before returning the gesture with enthusiasm, arms wrapping around Roxas’s waist. They stayed like this for a moment, before Roxas pulled back, easily removing himself from the other boys arms.

“Sora…” Riku started, voice emotional, before Riku cut him off.

“Just curious. Figured if I would feel anything, it would be from that, but… nothing. As usual. …Be careful, alright? The Organization’s our for your blood, and I’m not sticking my neck out to cover you more than once.” He explained, shrugging awkwardly, before turning to leave again. “And my name’s Roxas!”

“So- Roxas! Wait!”

“Goodbye Riku.”

Roxas almost felt bad about corridoring away.

Almost.

Besides, the kiss hadn’t sparked anything even resembling an emotion. Beyond possibly disgust. TV and books had all lied to him, kissing was _disgusting_.

~

He didn’t put the encounter with Riku in his mission report, not wanting the trouble letting him go would have earned him. …Or the danger it would have posed to Riku.

Instead, he handed in a report detailing a boring routine day of heart collection, and headed to the clock tower to join Axel, only slightly quieter than usual. Which the older Nobody noticed, of course.

That was the downside to being friends with the Organization’s assassin. As a rule, he was really fucking good at spotting abnormal behaviour. Noticing it was quite literally his job.

“So, what’s gotten into you kid?” Axel asked, a look of mild detached concern on his face. Roxas shrugged, and deflected with a half truth.

“Just did some thinking today.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Oh, fuck you. I was wondering… what were you and the others even doing over at Castle Oblivion? I mean, it killed five members, and I don’t even know why.”

Axel shrugged, looking unbothered. Considering the man played poker against Luxord and Xigbar on a regular basis, Roxas didn’t take his expression as a sign of anything.

“I dunno, it was really convoluted. It was like, half set up, half experiment. Vexen, Zexion and Lexaeus were running some weird experiments, I never cared enough to find out what they were doing. Something with replicas? It went to shit really quickly. One of them escaped the labs and went rogue, killed Lexaeus and Zexion. And Xemnas had specifically sent me for the purpose of catching Marluxia and Larxene in the act of betraying us, because he’s not fucking stupid and could tell they were planning on going traitor, and guess what! They did! So I handled them. And I had to take out Vexen along the way, because he turned out to be a secret surprise traitor, and it was just this whole fucking thing. …Why do you ask?”

Roxas shrugged, and turned back to the sunset.

“No reason. Just curious. So how was your mission?”

“Oh, fuck me, the worst. So I was sent to fucking Atlantica, which was the first sign that today was going to suck dick…”

Roxas tuned out as Axel continued to complain, thinking over the explanation he had been given. Castle Oblivion being used as an isolated location for dangerous lab experiments, and to confirm and kill two traitors…

Yeah. Sounded more likely than a secret plot to lure and brainwash his miraculously resurrected Other.

Riku had been fucking with him. Shocking.

“…And then this one mermaid saw me, and you know mermaids and mermen all go shirtless, and I was in merman form, and therefor topless? Well, this bitch took one look at me, and tried to tell me about some anorexia clinic her friend owned, which was just so fucking rude – hey, are you even listening?”

“Huh? No, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of you slowly dying of malnutrition. One day I’m gonna snap and start shoving cheeseburgers down your throat.”

“Sweet merciful darkness, you sound like _Saix_.” Axel complained.

Roxas automatically pulled a deeply offended expression at that. Axel burst out laughing, and nearly fell of the clock tower. Which may have been from Roxas semi-seriously attempting to push him off in retaliation, but who was counting?

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, yeah, if Roxas had a heart he would return Riku’s affections, and yes. Roxas does have a soft spot for Riku, and is willing to let a lot of things slide in the name of sentimentality. Roxas just hates kissing, regardless of who the other party is. Considering that all Nobody’s are, as a given, aromantic, and being kissing repulsed is a thing some of us have. It’s weird gross and slimy, and believe me, I’ve tried with a fuck ton of people. There’s no deep subtext to read into that. Some people just hate kissing. I ship SoRiku, or really just anything that isn’t Axel the grown ass adult with a teenager. The fuck guys? Has nobody told you what age of consent means?  
> Also, I’m assuming that Axel has issues with Atlantica, because fire elemental and underwater sounds like a bad mix. And no, I don’t write Axel as having anorexia, I just write him as a very broken person with some deep seated issues, especially related to his job as the Organization’s hitman. He’s killed people. He’s definitely killed a lot of people. So I headcanon him as just neglecting to eat, or really take care of himself, as a subconscious expression of self-loathing. Dudes got issues. Axel would probably be a raging alcoholic, but again… fire elemental. Losing self control around highly flammable substances would be like lighting up a cigarette on the Hindenburg. Big boom is inevitable. Axel burned his eyebrows off twice when he was 18, and decided that the whole alcohol thing was just a bad idea. He’s the eternal DDC. Designated Dark Corridor-er.  
> Okay, bad joke, bad joke, but you see my overall point.  
> As for that line about Roxas being glad he didn't have Leviathan for a ground bossfight... I'm not naming any names, but a certain possible gay messiah may or may not have done their entire first play through of Days with lift/flight gear. I THOUGHT IT LOOKED COOL OKAY IT WAS STUPID AS FUCK BUT I STILL KICKED SAIX, XION AND RIKU'S ASSES WITH GODDAMN LEVIATHAN, SO I WILL NOT BE JUDGED. I WAS LIKE TWELVE.


End file.
